My fiance and I made an agreement….he handles all the auto repair/maintenance, and I take care of the household chores.
He works outside the home and I don’t so I think it’s only fair that I do the lion’s share around the house. The problem is, he isn’t holding up his end of the bargain! My car has been out of commission for a week. He bought the starter for it the day it broke down, and it has sat in the same place for a week! He REFUSES to fix it. He says, “Why should I have to go to work all day, and then come home and work on a car?” What he fails to realize is…his work day ENDS when he comes home, and mine never ends. I have to do extra at the end of the day, why shouldn’t he? Should I quit doing things for him until he gets off the couch and does something?
A: Get the checkbook and hire someone else to put the starter in. He works so hard you wouldn’t want him to lift a finger when he gets home to do anything else! His day ends when he gets home, then let your day end when he gets home. *although this is not doable if you have children* When he asks what is for dinner, say I dunno.. I sure wish we had a maid but my work day just ended about 30 minutes ago. He will not only wish that he had put your starter in, but he will also start holding up his end of the bargains!
A: Yes you should! And that includes not going to the store to buy his food….especially since your car is broke and you can’t drive anyways….Guess he has you right where he wants you…Home all the time and no way to go anywhere else….What a schmuck!
He is too freaking lazy to fix your car himself…I doubt that he will pay the bill to have it fixed…After all it is your car and you aren’t married yet…
A: You could put in your eight hours and quit for the day like he does. I would also give him a designated amount of time to fix the car, and then tell him it will be towed to a repair shop and fixed and he can pay the bill! He might like it that you can’t go anywhere unless he takes you. You could also say you’ll drive him to and from work until your car is fixed. Good luck!
A: i agree with you just because he works when he comes home dosent mean his day should end esspecially with kids he just puts on a deffrent hat and plays the role of husband and father.if he cant fix the car maybe he should pay oto have a professsional do it.or maybe the car should sit there and when its time to go to the store to buy grocries to cook and feed him and you cant because he hasnt held his end of the bargain he will get off his butt and fix the car.if it was me i would stop all the extra stuff you do and do the bare neccisitays like him
A: i agree with you. the minute that he walks in the door, your day should end too. i would only cook and clean for yourself. he’ll get a clue eventually.
A: here is what i would do. i would go online and get price quotes for new cars. brand new cars. exspensive ones. and use his email for them to sceng the quotes too. then when he asks you what is going on tell him that if he won’t fix your car then you are going to have to get a new one. then refuse to cook him dinner. refuse to have sex with him just tell him you are too tired from working all day to have to work on him at night. have fun and good luck
A: Tell him to sh*t or get off the pot…but don’t stop doing your share around the house. One, that won’t make him fix your car any faster. Two, he could use that against you in the future…and drag his feet even more the next time you need something from him.
Or just do what I did…read the automotive manual and learn to do it yourself!
A: Maybe you should go on strike as you said.
Or on the other hand, are you sure he’s getting enough sex? Maybe you need to tease him abit into doing the job… you know what I mean?
A: No…. better would be to put your hands over your ears and yell “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA”
I think you both need to grow up
Yes, you should quit doing things for him if he won’t do anything for you. And your work should end when his does. There is no virtue in overworking yourself.
NO…HIT IT WHERE IT WILL HURT..THE WALLET..WHEN HE COMES HOME AND SEES THAT IT IS FIXED…HE WILL PROBABLY BE UPSET…THEN WHEN HE SEES WHAT IT COSTS…HE WILL BE EVEN ANGRIER…IT WILL MOTIVATE HIM NEXT TIME.
I feel your pain. No woman could ever work as hard as a man. No experience you have could ever be as bad as their experience if they have gone through the same things. If my partner drives a long way for his work day when he comes home he is exhausted and can only lie on the sofa whilst I clean, cook, look after the child etc. If I come home after having to drive a long way from work I have to still cook/clean look after child. It is so true in many cases…..not all, but a lot it is definitely a mans world. I’m not sure if going on strike would work. I expect he would just do the bare necessities to keep his life running whereas women arent able to do that as they have different priorities.
go put the starter in yourself. It’s not hard to do!!
Just make sure the battery cables are off the posts!
Then you’ll see there arent that many screws to take out and replace. then hook your cables back up and your off and runing! learn to do the mechanical stuff. I had a lowlife lazy bum once too, I kept all of our cars running!
My husband is the same way. Just suggest that you will have a friend work on your car, that’s my way of getting him to work on my car.
Just take it to the shop and hand him the bill.
Perhaps his reluctance to work on the car is a representation of something else that he resents about the relationship or an issue of late. Sure, it’s immature, but common.
My husband has zero interest in cars, he can hit a golf ball but will not clean, do windows or work on cars. He doesn’t have to cut grass. He does like to grocery shop, cook and will do dishes. I have him do his own laundry. It works out in the end, since I don’t mind the dusting, vacuuming or bathroom cleaning.
You can fight and have a pissing match, but where will that get you? Over the years you will have many issues to contend with and the sooner you learn to deal with the psychology of men and motivation, the better. If you only react in anger, you have already lost your power. Read some books on motivation and persuasion, bc it will get you further in the long run.
You exhibit more control and power by making decisions & doing things, than you do by nagging. Like it or not, that’s how it is. Men hear “yap yap yap,” and it’s out of their brain cells. You take “action” and that gets his attention. Simply change the way you react to these issues.
The impt. thing is he is true to you and loving. That you are truly kind to one another and have common goals.
Some stuff you can let slide, you have to know what is worth fighting over. Pick your battles. There seem to be some power struggle issues, but that’s common when couples are younger. You will adjust over the years.
Don’t put the effort into a “strike” to prove a point. Just call a tow truck, have the car towed to a repair shop with the part, and have it fixed. If he doesn’t care to fix it himself, pay to have someone do it then.
yes u should, let him figure out what he is going to eat, or where his work clothes are, or how to wash his work clothes, etc.
He will regret that comment
tell him exactly how you feel.thats not fair..go on strike in every area…if he doest respond fire him
I think it is time you two renegotiated the division of all the chores.
For agreement to work each partner has to contribute their fair share otherwise resentment sets in.
Maybe do things together, forget the gender job stuff. Or swap, let him do all the household chores and you do auto/maintenance (just a suggestion)