I know I’ll probably get some snarky answers with this kind of question, but I’m trying make life as easy as possible for my (newlywed) wife before my ship date (approximately a month from now).
I’ve done all of the basic car maintenance, bought new tires, windshield wipers, the works. I have all of our financial information readily available and her job can pay any of our bills while I await my first paycheck.
I am going Army and to Fort Benning as an 18X, and she’ll be in NY, so I want to make sure she’s taken care of, both for her sake and for my peace of mind while I’m training. Any and all advice is helpful. Thanks.
A: Good luck and congratulations. Take a good attitude and lots of stamps so you can write to her. You can also assume she is an adult and can take care of herself.
If you are going on active duty after boot camp, you may be sent overseas where she can’t go. Military wives have to be strong and self sufficient. Especially (rolls eyes) since you are both young, there may be children in your future
A: I would also gather up a list of phone numbers for the nearest military base…just in case something comes up and she needs info
A: It sounds like you have done everything that needs to be taken care of. It might be nice to leave little notes in different spots right before you leave just saying you miss her and love her. Just in random spots so after you are gone she will find them. like in between towels or in cabinet. This will just be little things to make her smile while you are away. My husband did it and i really did love the little things like that. Good Luck
A: can take that long to process all the paperwork.
Make sure you have copies or originals of your marriage certificate, birth certificate, SSN card and then a blank check or the proper routing # and account # to set up the deposit.
Get of Power of Attorney for her to act on your behalf in any accounts, companies that deal with you.
Have her start to go through your things, get rid of stuff you don’t need, backup all your computer files on both a external harddrive and even disk that goes somewhere else, back up photos, have copies of every necessary document made,
A: Sounds good to me. You sound really responsible…but honestly…if she is an adult she should be able to take care of herself, right?
A: Honestly, it sounds like she’s well prepared for your leave. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If she can hold down the fort (pun intended) then I think you have everything secured.
It’ll be nice for her to have close family and friends nearby her for moral support. In my opinion, that’s the most important thing to secure for her. Her emotions will be runnign wild with you gone.
A: Before my husband went on both of his deployments I bought a one a day calendar and put little notes on important dates and some just because dates. He said it was nice to be able to pull one off each day to count down the time and when he would run across one with a note …it made him smile and know that I was thinking about him.
If you have family or a good friend in the neighborhood, try asking for their help. You can buy her a little gift and wrap it for each week you are gone or a thinking of you card. Just something small and silly to make her smile. She could then have a standing dinner night or Sunday coffee or something with a friend each week to help her pass the time.
Don’t use 800flowers if there is a special occasion you will miss. Go to a local reputable flower shop and prepay and arrange for flower delivery for her birthday, just because etc. You will get WAY more for your money that way.
Ask her to plan a special weekend or something for when you get back. The research will help give her something to look forward to.
Some couples are crafty…she could take a picture of herself each week, and gather some favorites of the 2 of you. Once you get to school, you’ll have a little more freedom to take pics of yourself and how you are spending your time. You could each be gathering pics and index cards with favorite memories/moments. You can send them to her and have her put a book together. It’ll be nice for her to get pics and see what you have written. (this one may be a little ’sappy’)
I LOVE the notes around the house idea too. I know many wives, and I’ve done it myself, leaving a note tucked into duffel bags before they leave for them to find later on.
You are way ahead of many guys that are leaving. You’ve done a great job of getting ready. She sounds like a very lucky girl.
A: You could teach the other servicemen a thing or two about how to be a generous husband. LOL Your wife gets no sympathy from me (just respect for snagging a great guy!)… it sounds like she has a wonderful husband!
It sounds like you guys have all the bases covered… and then some. Just follow the cues of the wives who have posted here and remember to treat yourselves to some very special memories together before you ship out.
Also, let your wife know that things will be hectic for the first few weeks and not to panic if it takes a while for the first contact (i.e. letter or phone call). She should also take care to write you as often as possible, but to keep her letters encouraging and motivating, rather than listing all of the worries, concerns, and things that are going wrong back home. There won’t be anything you can do about it then, so have someone chosen who she can lean on while you’re away. There will be plenty for you to be focused on in your training, and her job as a military spouse is to make sure that she is helping you, rather than hindering your mental well-being.
I really wish the best for both of you. It sounds like you guys take really great care of each other.
Thanks for serving, we need more like you guys. Also, tell your wife that “those who wait also serve”. She’s in on this too!
A: It sounds like you’ve got everything pretty well set up already.
Things to do now:
Spend as much time together as possible
Do something special together before you leave (maybe a nice dinner or a romantic night away)
Additional things she will need to know while you’re away…
Pay will not start for 6-8 weeks so don’t panic when it’s not there on the 1st payday after you leave.
She will get a packet about DEERS/Tri-Care and her ID care a little while after you’re gone. She needs to follow the instructions and complete it ASAP so she is enrolled and gets her ID right away. The sooner the better. This also ensures she is on your orders when they are done (granting you aren’t going somewhere that is a hardship tour like Korea)
Make sure she knows who to contact should there be an emergency (the Red Cross) and that she knows all your info (your unit, SS#)
