My daughter who I had when I was very young was such a high maintenance sassy child who was also very bratty. She was a rebel even though I raised her as best as I could being that I was 16 when I had her. She would find ways to sneak out and was into drugs and partying a lot, having sex and was very popular at school. She would talk back all the time. She tried to fight with me a lot and never gave me a moment’s peace because there was always something going on with her. She was always in some kind of trouble, from shop lifting to drugs to sex.
She’s a teenager and got into a bad car accident not long ago and suffered a spinal cord injury, she is paralyzed. She’s very tiny because she’s lost a lot of weight and she can’t breath without a ventilator, I also have to change diapers again. I love her more than anything and plan to be completely devoted to her care. But she feels very bad about all she’s done in the past and is acting like such an angel now and telling me how much she loves me but is still deeply saddened because of how she’s acted and also how helpless she is now. How can I make her feel better and what should I say to her? Should I never mention anything she’s done in the past again? She thinks she’s just been a burden to me and thinks I secretly wish I never had her which of course I don’t think anything like that.

A:               Being a teenager is hard, being a teenage mom is arguably even harder. I think every person has regrets and when such a horrific things happens, like your daughter’s accident, you reflect back to those things. Your daughter’s accident was a life altering event and I’m not surprised that it gas made her apologetic for her past. Being in your position has go to be rough…it’s I’m sure the hardest thing in the world to have to watch your child go through something so tragic, and I’m sure there is guilt, but just be thankful that she is alive and that she realizes that past behaviors weren’t exactly stellar. Just be there for her, emotionally, as much as possible. I’m sure she’s terrified of the future and quite frankly probably just needs her mommy! I know I would.
I wish you luck and pray that God gives you the needed strength to keep y chugging along

A:                 im so sorry this has happened. i don’t really know what to say. just Reading that made me tear up.
when i was a teen i was very much like your daughter. now that ive grown out of it i also feel bad but my mum hardly ever brings it up & i think its better that way. leave the past in the past. all the best. xx

A:               by the way..u sound like a great mother..but anyway..try not 2 mention the past and focus on the future. be supportive. and tell her that whats in the past is in the past and that your only goal right now is 2 move forward.tell her that you never regret having her. tell her that she has never been a burden to you and that you love her too much.
hope this helps!

A:                   When she brings it up just keep reminding her that everyone makes mistakes and that you forgive her. Also keep telling her that no matter what she’s done or what you have to do for her it’s all worth it just to have her in your life

A:                   Oh gosh! I’m sorry to hear that she was hurt! Mom…all kids normally feel bad for all the crap they put their parents through. Let her know that you accept her apology for the past, and that there is no need to apologize again for it anymore. Stop her when she tries to sorry again. And remind her: I already accepted. Remember? A few years back I almost died and my Mom had to take care of me. No diaper changing. Thank God. It was bad enough that I had to have her shave my legs. I apologized every day. All day long. For everything. It drove my Mom, Sister, and my Son crazy. They started to tell me firmly,”Quit apologizing!” I finally learned. I felt horrible that my Mom, in her 50’s was having to take care of me again. She is always busy with her own life and here I came and interrupted her. There was a lot of guilt for me. It’s hard to have someone do for you. Hopefully she can get some physical therapy and occupational therapy that will help her do some things for herself. Have your daughter focus on positive stuff. Maybe find a support group you both can join. Get her socializing. Don’t let her hide like I did. I hope she gets healthy again…whether it be physical or mental. Good luck to the both of you