First, I have worked my a$$ off for five years to get where I am right now. This was not without the help of my current BF. He has been there emotionally for me and my kids in some ways, but in many ways lets us down all the time.
I make about 7,000 dollars a month. He makes about 1,600. He has been unemployed for much of the past 4 years we have been together. I have been paying almost all of the bills, including our giant mortgage. (we got hit with a terrible loan rate due to his sketchy work history).
He never ever cleans anything in our house, has maybe cleaned the toilet ONCE in 4 years, I have to do all the remodeling in our house, and yard work, care of the kids, the pets, the bills, the car maintenance, etc.
I feel totally alone and depressed all the time.
He left me a few weeks ago all by myself with my twin’s birthday parties and 25 children because he can never be anywhere on time, this is also why he got fired from his last 2 jobs. HELP.
Boyfriend Does Not Pull His Own Weight, Am I Asking Too Much?
Boyfriend Does Not Pull His Own Weight, Am I Asking Too Much?
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Sounds like he wants a mother, not a wife. Give him another chance AFTER you have laid it all out…like you did here. If he refuses to help out more, you will know you gave him more than enough chances.
Best of luck to you and your kids…it sounds like they have a kind and level-headed mom.
how the heck is he making 1600 being unemployed!?!?! thats more than me!!!! lol
second, thats not too much to ask of him. he sounds like a bum, tell him to either stand up and be a man or crawl out of your life like a worm.
you have 25 children?
thats how my girlfreind is. your not asking to much at all.. i promise that. sit him down talk to him and if nothing will change then your the boss you tell him if you mean alot to him he will have to change or take a break. i have a baby on the way right now i found that i had to acutally leave let her work her butt of to see how much i do and now we are happy as can be and another thing is counciling it sounds dumb butt works in alot of ways
Just a thought….. perhaps he has you confused with his mother, because he certainly isn’t acting like an adult. Time to make a list. One sheet of paper, two columns. On the left, reasons why he is your boyfriend and why he should stay. On the right, reasons why he should leave and why this relationship isn’t working. Life isn’t all about sex, so you need to make some very adult decisions. Consult a lawyer before you do anything, though.
(A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.)
If you are that unhappy in your current situation then perhaps it is time to consider changing it. If you cant find any way to make him learn to pull his own weight then perhaps he is not worth all the trouble. He is obviously making you feel unhappy and noone deserves to constantly feel like that. Never an easy decision to make but perhaps it is worth thinking about..
Sounds like he has it made in heaven. A girlfriend who does all the cooking, cleaning, the bread winner, raises the kids, etc…. Of course he doesn’t want to break up with you.
I would give him an ultimatum! If he doesn’t improve in 1 week, throw him out and make sure you change the locks on your place so he can’t let him self in. Do not fall for any of his charm or lies, he will try anything to get back into your life. Make him fight on his own 2 feet and see how he likes it. Maybe then he’ll have more respect for you and realise how much you do around the place? He is not a child and needs to pick up his act. Your kids can see how he acts and will expect the same when they get older, do you want that for your children? I don’t think so!
Be very careful if you do break up, because you have been in a defacto relationship, he may have rights for the house/unit you are paying off.
Good luck, maybe let him look after the kids one weekend so you can get away with the girls and have some fun for a change. It will do you good.
you already have your answer.just add the +’s and the -’s and see how it weighs out and make a choice for you and your kids because he’s not being a good roll model for them.
god bless
Thanks Dusty Neil
myspace.com/dustyneil
I don’t think you are asking too much, but it seems pretty stupid to stay with someone who is making you so miserable. I guess i could understand it if you said your kids like him, but isn’t he setting a terrible example for them?
It also doesn’t sound like you ever have any fun either, maybe that would help.
Sounds like a job for a counselor. Or maybe you need to ask him to leave and comeback when he wants to be big boy.
After 4 years you reached here, try to make things easy, happy , you have to see you need him or you ask him to find his way.
I would think twice about keeping him. What do you need him for. He is not there for you and he does not carry his own load. He piles it onto you and sits back and relaxes. A man that will not work and cannot keep a job is not worth it. He has it made. A sugar mama that cooks and cleans and does everything.
if he’s this horrible why have you been with him so long? Your long lists of all the things he doesn’t do or help you with should be an indication that the bad is outweighting any good there could possibly be. Step back, take a break and see how far he manages, not much I imagine.
He who does not work, neither let him eat. people can do no more than we allow them to do. You have to say enough is enough and mean it without compromising your convictions. Tell him that if he continues to choose to be lazy, then he will have to live like that by himself because you will no longer be a part of his life.
sometimes love isn’t enough to make it work. need compassion, communication, TEAMWORK, compromise and understanding. It sounds like you have a grown up child as a boyfriend and you do deserve better. Why are you putting up with him. As outer prespective, it seems you can do soo much better. Talk to him..he needs to grow up and take responsibility or show him the door. What he is doing is disrespectful..not helping out. How many sacrifices will you do or “let things slide”…wooo–man up!
good luck.